Good until it wasnt

4 February, 2009

Well, this year has been pretty good so far.

A nice inauguration, news that my mom’s treatment is progressing positively, and I’ve even been invited to interview for some positions that I didn’t even put in for.

But there is a problem. One of my best friends crossed a serious line Sunday night. He was wasted drunk at the end of a party and tried to make me beat him up by attacking me with his closed fists and even a glass (and a bottle, which someone else took from him).

It sucks, because I almost beat the living crap out of him. It’s a bad situation. I don;t do that and he’s already used his ‘get out of jail free card’ with me over this sort of thing. He told me that he didn’t want to fight me per se, but that he wanted someone to beat him up,and there I was. Mostly sober me.

Mostly sober me who took it for 3 hours before finally raising an open handed welt on his face. I just bear hugged him up to that point when he tried to tackle me.

I really think I need to cut my losses, because I am becoming convinced I can’t help him anymore. We’ve had talks about him and liquor.

Any advice? I could use it. When do you just cut your losses?

8 Responses to “Good until it wasnt”

  1. You are correct, cut your losses. You cannot help someone who cannot help himself. It’s a bummer, but it’s the best you can do.

    I am really sorry about this.


  2. Lefty said

    Well, he needs to go fuck himself until he unfucks himself. And I would suggest you give him the opportunity to demonstrate that he’s unfucked himself when that happens, since you have known him a damned long time (kilts and all).

    I sort of only know part of his story, and I do feel bad for the part I know. I may have my own problems of similar magnitude, but definitely of less magnitude.

    On a side note, one of the bulbs in my bathroom light has burned out again. Shouldn’t these things last forever? I mean, it’s 2009!

  3. mdh said

    Good point Lefty.

    I was considering October as a good time frame for exactly what you suggest there.

  4. mdh said

    and thank you AG. I sorta knew you’d have my back on this one.

  5. Jennifer said

    Cut your losses! There’s nothing in the friendship contract that says you have to put up with endless amounts of shit. Get away before you get hurt more than you already have been.

  6. daveminnj said

    the only possibility i could see is making
    it clear you will not allow him to be around
    you when he is under influence.
    we all have demons, but he sounds like he becomes
    a different person when f-ed up; and is
    asking you to act as excorsist.

  7. Snag said

    Aside from the emotional stress it’s causing, you need to think about the practical implications of continuing to hang around with him. He may be provoking you, and provoking you on purpose, but: a) he could physically hurt you; or b) you could physically hurt him while defending yourself, landing you in legal and/or financial trouble. It’s not worth the risk.

  8. mdh said

    Snag, I hadn’t consciously put it that way to myself, but I think you found the very essence of my issue. Risk.

    I threw big parties back in college. The cops never came once, nobody ever got hurt, and nobody had a bad time.

    And I very nearly did hurt him, and that is not an okay thing to make someone else do. Especially a friend.

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