On Dying [updated]

30 July, 2008

I was told a story about myself yesterday. When I was 7 years old my uncle passed away before his time. He was my favorite uncle, who had made me some really cool toys. Made them. I was apparently asked by a family friend if I understood what had happened, that he was not coming back.

I am told that I said something along the lines of “I understand it the way a seven year old does, which isn’t the same way grownups do. Maybe when I’m older I’ll understand it differently.” As I was raised to be a Unitarian Universalist, and my church school teacher was within earshot, it became a story that others have heard about me, but one I only heard yesterday for the first time.

I do understand it differently now – But it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.

[update: Tomorrow I find out how many months my mother has left with us. Have any of you been through this? I think it’s gonna suck, b/c I still pretty much have a 7 year olds understanding, just with 26 years more practice.]


20 Responses to “On Dying [updated]”

  1. That doesn’t change the fact that AG hasn’t seen her surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. mdh said

    I should be able to get to that this weekend. It’s worth every second you’re waiting for it.

  3. Jennifer said

    I knew you were an old soul.

  4. Jennifer said

    I think most of us are 7 when it comes to losing someone too soon, someone that close… heck, losing anyone at all. I’m so sorry.

  5. Jennifer said

    mdh- I hope the news you got was good, as if any news under these circumstances is good.

  6. mdhatter said

    Let’s say it was relatively terrible, but could be worse. Thank you J-.

  7. Jennifer said

    I’m sorry to hear that.

  8. daveminnj said

    damn. i just dialed over on a whim and read what’s happening with you. really sorry.
    i’ve been there and it’s quite tough. don’t
    know what your support system is, but hanging
    in there, being present and having others who
    will try to do the same for you is crucial.
    you just do your best,but don’t expect miracles
    of yourself.

  9. mdhatter said

    Thanks Dave. I’m good so far. Being present never felt so important.

  10. daveminnj said

    i seem to remember you’re an animal lover.
    this site is good for a mental time-out.


  11. mdh said

    Funny you mention that. My kitty will be having kittens in about a month. I may just submit some content there. Yay kittens!

  12. mdh said

    weird, it logs me in as mdh here? at my own blog?

  13. Could AG have two kitties? She wants only black and white ones. I will be home at the end of the month for Doctor schtupping and kitties, if you are so inclined.

  14. I didn’t see the mom comment. Oh Sweetie. I am going to send an e-mail. If I can be of any help at all, you know AG will pull strings for you.

  15. daveminnj said

    just checking in; seeing
    how you’re doing.

  16. mdhatter said

    5 by 5, as they say.

  17. daveminnj said

    kittens yet?

  18. Jennifer said

    You’ve been gone awhile… just hoping everything is ok.

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